Respectable pain

Pain comes and goes, it demands attention, and to be taken notice of. It can creep in or be fully known. You don't expect to see it, like the day you realize you lost your friend because he got married, or the guy you finally fall in love with breaks your heart. Or that you made the ultimate best friends but they're all scattered across the country. Or the day you come to terms that you messed up, Screwed up. That you made decisions you never thought you'd make. Or hurt people you never thought you'd hurt. You don't expect that, ever. Until one day your looking down on the floor trying to see straight, picking up all the broken pieces, and feeling the stabbing pain of each one. No one can tell you how to heal or prescribe the time it will take for the pain to surrender until you finally feel yourself again. The truth is, in most of these cases i knew better. I knew pain would come with my open and willing heart, but it was worth the relationships I let myself enter. Pain is apart of life and love is stronger than pain, Even if that love only lasted a moment. Some things are seasonal and some can last a lifetime. There are some things I wish I handled differently, more gracefully, more cautiously, more obediently. You love, you hurt, you learn, you change, you move forward and you eventually find something new. Pain produces growth but it must be felt, heard and released first before it will leave you alone. 

Built with Structure

The conquest of discovering who you are.

Let’s be honest, we are all searching to discover our purpose, why we were made, what our gifting’s are, how to use those gifting’s, and how to develop them. Then there are those that reach the highest point of their gift and still want to know a deeper meaning of their existence, that there’s more to them than being great at the gift they were given. We are searching for the purpose we were designed for. The thing that makes a difference, a dent for the better in the world which surrounds us. Purpose is the reason something is created, ones intention or objective.

The canoe was designed for a purpose. It’s structure, which is a little shaky when standing, was designed for the purpose of floating on top of the water. The Keel, which is like a blade under the bottom of the canoe helps to stay on track and not drift. Like a canoe we have been made with various parts. The designer knew the parts of the canoe, which were needed in order for the canoe to serve a purpose in its full potential. We are much like that, built with various pieces and parts, learning which purpose each of those parts serve. Like the canoe, its big picture of ultimate purpose is to float, to stay above the water, to transport you to your desired destination. We too have many parts, many gifting’s, but we also carry a bigger picture. We were designed for a purpose. If a canoe, which is a large piece of metal which was structured into something that serves a purpose on this earth, think of how much greater the purpose we were created for must be. Like an owner of a new canoe, we must study the parts of the structure we are floating on. If we don’t educate ourselves and get to understand the structure we our using, we will sit still in the water and not move. It is our responsibility to know ourselves, what our potential is, the gifts we were so graciously given, and to practice those and really form them into their full potential. Or like the canoe, we too will sit still. So find your owners manual and start studying because you have somewhere to be.

You stood right in front of me, and despite how small you kept my view, I saw you.

I don’t often stumble upon someone I’ve desperately desired to know, and to know all of. But when you do, it’s hard to not want their undivided. I’ve learned that there are those people you meet who’s negatives couldn’t keep you from them if they tried because there’s something about them that draws you in, which is usually a rarity. Please realize when I say negative I’m not relating to flaws. We all have flaws and those flaws are beautiful and always have a story. Negative meaning something you can’t live with, like possibly the difference in how orderly one keeps their bathroom, or maybe religion:)

Relationship is one of my most prized possessions in life. I may not be the best at being a friend, daughter, or sister, but I try to work through anything that might stand in the way. There is something so beautiful about the fight to keep it alive, raw, and real. I think about one of my relationships with a beautiful friend. It hasn’t been the easiest but that’s because she truly loves me, which means there is no Fear. No Fear of truth, of being raw or real, no fear to Love. I have been stubborn, hardheaded and fiery in return, but yet she continues to Love me fearlessly and constantly reminds me who I am when I may be outside myself. I’ve fought back, or said my words freely in return, but at the end I always remember she loves me selflessly and unconditionally. None of her words come from jealousy or unspoken deceitful motives but to truly better me.

Can you think of anything better in Life?

You know the feeling of satisfying exhaustion, possibly after climbing your first mountain for 12 hours and you catch yourself running on adrenaline because your terrified you may get attacked by a bear, but you feel like you’ve concurred the world?

  That feeling of satisfying exhaustion, it almost replenishes you. You worked hard at something and can feel the journey in your blood. Even though it may have been hard, it was so worth it.

It reminds me of a beautiful relationship, and amazingly that is what we have been designed for. It is what I am designed for, to build others up and others build myself up through the journey of relationship.

Sadly because relationship is so powerful and meant for our creation, it can have the opposite effect on us which we all understand is part of the risk in letting our heart be revealed. Despite our past, we must always be willing to embrace our future or then you risk to possibly live a life without something exhaustingly Beautiful. I will end with my favorite quote

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” C.S. Lewis

is he speaking...

  In my life my dad has always been an overflowing source of wisdom. Never have I grown to old to not be his little girl and continue to learn the ways of life through him. Every conversation whether planned or not, he speaks guidance to me just like God’s word. I could choose not to listen to my dad, or not communicate with him, but I do because I love him and I know his words and guidance give life to my life. He has never once intentionally tried to harm me. I’m his daughter and he wants my life to prosper and give life.

Every once and awhile my dad will take the time to send me a video through a text message showing the beauty in life he has come across that day. He has no idea the way he sees life and the way he loves me is a constant reflection of how I think God tries to love me if I would fully let him.

From the Strippes he’s caught that day fishing, to a video of the sun and the clouds. He wants me to see the beauty he sees, and wants to share that with me. The simplest things, but those simple things were created by our God and he created those things to love us. God wants to give to us, he wants to show off his creation and beauty to us, he wants us to feel loved and adored and I feel so blessed Gods given me such a substantial example of his love on this earth through my own Father. 

Simplicity Wins.

A devout life does bring wealth, but it's rich simplicity is being yourself before God
1Timothy 6:6

Life has multiple objectives to which we could designate our entire lives to. We spend a huge amount of our lives just trying to find those things which mean the most to us. Sometimes we obtain them and other times we don't. Money, Fame, Success, Happiness, Purpose, Solution. 
Living in Jackson has taken my rooted belief system of what equals success and has made me examine it in its entirety.
What does success look like? This objective is different to everyone.
 I have come to find that living in a small town  Happiness is alive here. People are content and proud of their lifestyles. They can't wait to get up in the morning and live life. Do they have the biggest homes and nicest cars, top notch careers... most of them don't. The biggest objective here is living a simple life to be able to enjoy the beauty which surrounds them.
 Why should we feel the pressures of what the world says success is when we may individually be the happiest we have ever been? 
Am I saying to not strive for greater things? I am saying to not live a life that gives life to others?
 Not at all...  I'm saying let's respect one another's objectives in life and support one another in those things, as long as they line up with the word of God.
We all have different seasons of life. You can't compare someone's life to another's. They will never look the same, we all walk different paths and those paths teach us what we need to know. God is the ultimate Guide so let's let him lead our lives and find contentment in the things he's placed in them for us to enjoy and dedicate ourselves to for that time. Make a difference in the atmosphere he has placed you

Love,
      Leah

Luke 10:38-42

heart locked down

Tim Walker

The easy way out is to not let yourself believe, to ignore the sensitivity of your heart, and to cut off feeling.

If you place your hope in anything other than God, including yourself… you will be let down.

A hardened heart is the product of hope let down due to placing it in places that are undeserved.

The moment that brought me back to realization was feeling that I hurt the one thing most dear to me. It wasn’t a feeling of disappointing or guilt. It wasn’t intentional, it felt similar to being completely unaware that I had left someone so valuable to me out of these really important things and realizing how much that would hurt them. If you really care about someone you want them involved in everything. To realize you’ve cut that person off unintentionally possibly hurts you more than it hurts them. It hurts because you would never want to hurt them, and you want them to know how much they mean to you and how you would do anything for them, but your actions have said nothing to show that.

But the best part is the realization. No guilt. No shame. No backtracking to where you left off. To open up again and let that most important thing back in.

How often do we do this to ourselves.

Theres no fear to hope when hope is placed in the proper hands.